It's so odd with this pregnancy... I just don't feel overly pregnant! The time is sort of flying by. It must be because I have a toddler to take care of and now a little business out of my home to run. The pregnancy isn't my main focus.
I have to say, that is kind of a relief. Before, I felt so much pressure to get through each week because there wasn't much else for me to focus on... there was a lot more time for me to worry about the possibility of something going wrong. It was a lot scarier then. Now I just don't have the option to worry because I have other things to think about.
In a way, I feel bad for this baby, because he/she is already taking a backseat to Sylvan and whatever else is holding our attention... but at the same time, I think it is healthier for kids to not feel like the main focus. Today's parenting is so child-focused that kids are just getting spoiled by all the fuss. It's a good reminder for me to learn to not fuss over Sylvan as much.
Another thing is I get the sense that this baby is pretty chill. I know it's kind of a cliche to say that about your second baby, and it may be true for a lot of people, but I just get that feeling. I hope it's true, anyway :)
This past week was EPIC for me, in a terrible, awful way. I've been getting some pretty intense 'morning sickness' (read: ALL DAY FRIGGIN' NAUSEA) with this pregnancy, and it's been a struggle to cope, as I have Sylvan to take care of and other stuff to do. I've been taking Gravol occasionally which has really helped. On Monday, I started out in the morning feeling my usual twinge of nausea, and as the day went on it only seemed to get worse. I took Gravol in the afternoon thinking it would do the trick but it didn't do anything. By the time Luke got home from work around 5:00, I needed to throw up. At this point I still thought it was just pregnancy nausea. After we put Sylvan to bed around 7:00, my vomiting got worse... and frequent. Every 20 minutes. I began to realize it was probably something else, not just pregnancy nausea. I ended up having to get up to throw up every 20 minutes to half an hour ALL NIGHT LONG. Luke was able to stay home from work the next day (thank GOD) and the vomiting continued. It was unspeakably awful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The nausea was just so intense, and barely subsided each time I had to vomit. Finally around 5:00, basically 24 hours to the minute, my poor exhausted body let go and the nausea began to ease. I was obviously completely spent, but it was such an amazing feeling to finally feel better again. I actually felt physically euphoric... very odd. The next day I felt weak and I definitely had to take it easy, but it was basically back to normal for me. My main worry was that Luke and Sylvan would get sick but it'll be Friday tomorrow and so far so good. I don't know how I would have dealt with it if Sylvan had gotten sick... it really was the absolute WORST feeling ever, and I can't imagine knowing exactly how your baby feels and being unable to help him.
Anyway, the week got a lot better after that was dealt with... and now I'm extra grateful to feel healthy! Another thing - I haven't had much morning sickness at all since then. Maybe my body decided to get it ALL over with in 24 hours? :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Back from a short vacay
Luke and I just got back from California last night. We were only gone for a few nights but it was an AMAZING break. It's the longest we've been away from Sylvan, and (mother of the year moment) I really needed a break. This has been a crappy winter for me. The weather hasn't even been all that bad, but I've been having terrible cabin fever in our house and for some reason every day I struggle to muster up the energy to do anything about it.
The sunny skies and warm air of California were an amazing pick-me-up, but it's been a tough day being back home. The only good thing is that we got to see Sylvan and boy, did we miss him! Luke and I watched videos of him on our Blackberries that we had recorded, so that helped. It's amazing what a few days away will do to your perspective... when we saw Sylvan today, he looked gigantic. I couldn't believe how big he looked. In my mind he was much smaller, but he looks like a little boy now! It's not like he grew significantly in three days, but it sort of re-set my mental picture of him and made me realize how much he's actually grown.
When we were gone my nausea kept up quite a bit. I popped gravol every morning and that helped, but it was still tough to get much food in without having to stop and take long breaks. I would feel hungry in the morning and optimistically order a big breakfast, but then as soon as it was set in front of me I could barely look at it.
I've been having really random smell aversions with this pregnancy. If Sylvan smells a teensy bit I can barely handle holding him. I'm not even talking poopy-smell... just ... unwashed. It's hard to explain. I don't even really know what it is. Also, if my hair hasn't been washed in a day or two I REALLY can't stand it. It's weird to have an aversion to yourself.... but it is definitely there.
I have NOT been taking weekly belly shots of myself the way I did with Sylvan. It's true... your priorities/approach to pregnancy definitely change with each one. With Sylvan it was all so new and thrilling, and this time it feels different. Not any less thrilling, but I feel more calm about it. I feel less anxious to record every single moment the way I did with Sylvan. I can actually be patient for the different stages of pregnancy and enjoy them (when I'm not feeling barfy). Looking back, when I was pregnant with Sylvan I felt almost panicky about making sure I took a picture every single week, in the same exact spot in our kitchen, standing the same exact way. This time I'm able to focus more on the baby growing inside of me and appreciate each stage for what it is. I could hardly wait for the next stage with Sylvan... I was never satisfied with where I was at. I think a part of it was fear... that nothing was guaranteed, and that if I lost the pregnancy I wanted to make sure I had documented as much of it as I could... almost as though the more I focused on the pregnancy and obsessed with it, the more likely it would 'stick'. It was my first pregnancy so I had no idea how my body would be able to deal with it all or what the possibility was that I would lose the baby. Now for some reason, I feel a lot more serene about it all. A part of that could be that I have lots more to focus on, like a toddler. I don't have room in my day or time to obsessively pose for pictures and write long blog posts.
Speaking of blog posts, this is a long one! Over and out.
The sunny skies and warm air of California were an amazing pick-me-up, but it's been a tough day being back home. The only good thing is that we got to see Sylvan and boy, did we miss him! Luke and I watched videos of him on our Blackberries that we had recorded, so that helped. It's amazing what a few days away will do to your perspective... when we saw Sylvan today, he looked gigantic. I couldn't believe how big he looked. In my mind he was much smaller, but he looks like a little boy now! It's not like he grew significantly in three days, but it sort of re-set my mental picture of him and made me realize how much he's actually grown.
When we were gone my nausea kept up quite a bit. I popped gravol every morning and that helped, but it was still tough to get much food in without having to stop and take long breaks. I would feel hungry in the morning and optimistically order a big breakfast, but then as soon as it was set in front of me I could barely look at it.
I've been having really random smell aversions with this pregnancy. If Sylvan smells a teensy bit I can barely handle holding him. I'm not even talking poopy-smell... just ... unwashed. It's hard to explain. I don't even really know what it is. Also, if my hair hasn't been washed in a day or two I REALLY can't stand it. It's weird to have an aversion to yourself.... but it is definitely there.
I have NOT been taking weekly belly shots of myself the way I did with Sylvan. It's true... your priorities/approach to pregnancy definitely change with each one. With Sylvan it was all so new and thrilling, and this time it feels different. Not any less thrilling, but I feel more calm about it. I feel less anxious to record every single moment the way I did with Sylvan. I can actually be patient for the different stages of pregnancy and enjoy them (when I'm not feeling barfy). Looking back, when I was pregnant with Sylvan I felt almost panicky about making sure I took a picture every single week, in the same exact spot in our kitchen, standing the same exact way. This time I'm able to focus more on the baby growing inside of me and appreciate each stage for what it is. I could hardly wait for the next stage with Sylvan... I was never satisfied with where I was at. I think a part of it was fear... that nothing was guaranteed, and that if I lost the pregnancy I wanted to make sure I had documented as much of it as I could... almost as though the more I focused on the pregnancy and obsessed with it, the more likely it would 'stick'. It was my first pregnancy so I had no idea how my body would be able to deal with it all or what the possibility was that I would lose the baby. Now for some reason, I feel a lot more serene about it all. A part of that could be that I have lots more to focus on, like a toddler. I don't have room in my day or time to obsessively pose for pictures and write long blog posts.
Speaking of blog posts, this is a long one! Over and out.
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